Unified Field Theory

by Tim Joseph, 1975 (slightly altered)

In the beginning there was Aristotle 
And objects at rest tended to remain at rest 
And objects in motion tended to come to rest 
And soon everything was at rest 
And God saw that it was boring.

Then God created Newton 
And objects at rest tended to remain at rest 
But objects in motion tended to remain in motion 
And energy was conserved and momentum was conserved and matter was conserved 
And God saw that it was conservative.

Then God created Einstein 
And everything was relative 
And fast things became short 
And straight things became curved 
And the universe was filled with inertial frames 
And God saw that it was relatively general 
But some of it was especially relative.

Then God created Bohr 
And there was the Principle 
And the Principle was Quantum 
And all things were Quantized 
But some things were still Relative 
And God saw that it was confusing.

Then God was going to create M 
And M would have unified 
And M would have fielded a theory 
And All would have been One 
But it was the seventh day 
And God rested 
And objects at rest tend to remain at rest.